Clean Jokes Continued...

[The March Hare]

Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse
advice.

Are your parents siblings?

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.

Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen
at birth?

Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to
like you?

Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?

Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

Don't you need a license to be that ugly?

Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!

Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10
seconds.

Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?

He has a mind like a steel trap - always closed!

He is living proof that man can live without a brain!

He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an
idiot.

He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.

Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!

Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to
get my head that far up I disagree.

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used
it.

I bet your mother has a loud bark!

I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the
credit?

I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture
would eat.

I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!

I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against
thousands of others?

I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?

I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found
nothing there.

I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.

I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.

I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that
high.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have
anywhere to put it!

I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.

I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep
trying.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission!

If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want
a brain that had never been used.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it
would be genocide!

If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's invulnerable.

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M.

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a
d**n.

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely
journey.

Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.

There is no vaccine against stupidity

[The March Hare]

Real signs from around the world

4.00


Plumber:
"We repair what your husband Fixed."

On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE
Pennsylvania:
"Don't sleep with a drip call your plumber."

Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one Weak."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."

Door of a plastic surgeons office:
"Hello, can we pick your nose?"

Sign at the psychic's Hotline:
"Dont call us, we'll call you."

At A Laundry Shop:
"How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no
charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would
that be satisfactory?"

At a Towing Company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We wants tows."

Billboard on the side of the road:
"Keep your eyes on the road an stop reading these signs."

On an Electricians truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area:
" If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take
appropriate action."

On Maternity Room Door:
"Push, Push, Push."

At an Optometrists Office
"If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the
right place."

On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

On a Butchers window:
"Let me meat your needs."

On a fence:
"Salesman Welcome, Dog food is expensive."

At a car Dealership :
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car
payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment Necessary, we hear you coming."

Outside a Hotel:
"Help! We need inn-experienced people."

On a desk in a reception room:
"We shoot every 3rd salesman , and the 2nd one just left."

In a Veterinarians waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes, Sit ! Stay! "

At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if
you don't you will be."

On the door of a Computer Store:
"Out for a quick byte."

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed
up."

Inside a Bowling Alley:
"Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."

In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully, we'll wait."

In a counselors office:
"Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional."

[jj]

At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue.

While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I
notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?"

Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us free box of candles."

Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual
question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way:
"What about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"

Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to
trap him with an unanswerable question.

"We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of matzo balls."

I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster
the know-it-all Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete thingy."

[marmaris98]

brilliant

[jj]

marmaris98 said:

brilliant

I thought so too, me mate Dawn from Tyne sent me that today it should have read D*** at the end but it was sensored ;D ;D

[The March Hare]

The Smiths had no children and the infertility clinic
decided to use a proxy father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was scheduled to arrive,
Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "The man should
be here soon. I don't want to be here. I'm off".

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door
baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make
a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but
I've come to...."

"No need to explain. I've been expecting you."
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good!
I've made a specialty of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped.
Please come in and have a seat.

Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on
the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too;
you can really spread out."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work
for Harry and me."

"Well madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every
time. But if we try several different positions and I
shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be
pleased with the results."

"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time.
I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be
disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a
portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top
of the Fifth Avenue bus in New York City."

"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you
consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Central
Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around
four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith,
eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three
hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling.
I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and
I began to rush my shots. Finally, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean over three hours....?"
"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll
set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??" Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.
It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready
for action. Madam? Madam? Good Lord, she's fainted!!"

[The March Hare]

A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for
the doctor to come in.

The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found
it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed
or bottle fed.

"Breast fed," the woman replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor asked. She did. He
pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts in a
detailed, rigorously thorough examination.

Motioning for her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is
under weight! You don’t have any milk."

"I know," she said, "I’m his grandmother, but I’m glad I came

[The March Hare]

Ma and Pa where rocking on the front porch when Pa turned and slapped
Ma, Ma said what was that for? Pa said for forty years of bad sex. Ma
said oh and continued rocking. Ma reached over and slapped Pa. Pa
said what was that for? Ma said for knowing the difference

[The March Hare]

A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards
further he's stopped by a police officer.

Officer: "Good evening sir. We're testing drivers for drunken
driving. Would you please blow into this machine?".

Man: "I'm sorry, I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that
machine I will get out of air".

Officer: "Please come along to the office and we can give you a blood
test."

Man: "I can't do that. I have anemia and if you stick a needle in me
I will bleed to death".

Officer: "Then you'll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this
white line".

Man: "Can't do that either."

Officer: "Why not?"

Man: "Because I'm dead drunk!"

[The March Hare]

A girl goes to confession.
"Father, I called a man a son-of-a-pregnant dog yesterday."
"Why did you call him a son-of-a-pregnant dog??" the priest asked.
"Because, father, he touched me on my arm without permission"
"Do you mean like this??" He touches her arm.
"Yes father."
"That's no reason for calling him a son-of-a-pregnant dog."
"But father he also touched my breasts."
"You mean like this??" He touches her breasts.
"Yes father."
"That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-pregnant dog."
"But father, he took off my clothes."
"Like this??" He takes off her clothes.
"Yes father."
"That's no reason to call him a son-of-a-pregnant dog."
"But father he then put his you-know-what in my you-know-where."
"Like this??" He put his you-know-what in her you-know-where.
"Yes father," she says sometime later.
"But that's no reason to call him a son-of-a-pregnant dog."
"But father, he has AIDS."
"THAT SON-OF-A-pregnant dog!!!!!!!!!!!"

[The March Hare]

Politically Correct sayings



Such as

Drunk = Spacially Perplexed

Insane People = Comprehensibility Selective

Insane People = Selectively Perceptive

Bisexual = Sexually Non-preferential

Bald = Folically Challenged

Bald = Comb-Free

Girl = Pre-Woman

Fat = Calorifically Enhanced

Alternatively, Fat = Horizontally Challenged

Alternatively, Fat = Gravitationally Challenged

Short = Vertically Challenged

Airhead = Reality Impaired

Sarah Brightman = Alternatively Talented

Dead = Metabolically Challenged

Poor = Economically Deficient

Poor = Economically Unprepared

Slum = Economic Oppression Zone

Hunter = Animal Assassin

Old People = Gerentologically Advanced

Homeless = Optionally Residential

Hooker = Sexual-Care Provider

Hooker = Sex Surrogate

Housewife = Domestic Technician

Handicapped = Differently Abled

Deaf = Visually Oriented

Blind = Photonically Non-receptive

Drug Addict = Chemically Challenged

Ugly = Attractively Impaired

Obnoxious = Charismatically Impeded

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

POLITICALLY CORRECT "SHE" TERMS

She does not:
GET PMS
She becomes:
HORMONALLY HOMICIDAL

She does not have:
A KILLER BODY
She is:
TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE

She is not:
A BAD COOK
She is:
MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE

She is not:
A BAD DRIVER
She is:
AUTOMOTIVELY CHALLENGED

She is not a:
PERFECT 10
She is:
NUMERICALLY SUPERIOR

She is not:
EASY
She is:
HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE

She does not:
HATE SPORTS ON TV
She is:
ATHLETICALLY BIASED

She does not have:
SEXY LIPS
She is:
COLLAGEN DEPENDENT

She does not get:
DRUNK
She is:
ACCIDENTALLY OVER-SERVED

You do not ask her:
TO DANCE
You request a:
PRE-COITAL RHYTHMIC EXPERIENCE

She is not:
A GOSSIP
She is a:
VERBAL TERMINATOR

She does not:
WORK OUT TOO MUCH
She is an:
ABDOMINAL OVERACHIEVER

She does not have:
A GREAT BUTT
She is:
GLUTEUS TO THE MAXIMUS

She is not:
HOOKED ON SOAP OPERAS
She is:
MELODRAMATICALLY FIXATED

She is not:
COLD OR FRIGID
She is:
THERMALLY INCOMPATIBLE

She does not:
WEAR TOO MUCH MAKE-UP
She is:
COSMETICALLY OVERSATURATED

She does not have:
GREAT CLEAVAGE (A GREAT RACK)
Her breasts are:
CENTRALLY LOCATED

She will never:
GAIN WEIGHT
She will become:
A METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER

She is not:
A SCREAMER OR MOANER
She is:
VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE

She does not:
SHAVE HER LEGS
She experiences:
TEMPORARY STUBBLE REDUCTION

She does not have:
A HARD BODY
She is:
ANATOMICALLY INFLEXIBLE

She does not:
SUN BATHE
She experiences:
SOLAR ENHANCEMENT

Her breast will never:
SAG
They will:
LOSE THEIR VERTICAL HOLD

She does not:
SHOP TOO MUCH
She is:
OVERLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING PLOYS

She does not:
CUT YOU OFF
She becomes:
HORIZONTALLY INACCESSIBLE

She does not have:
BIG HAIR
She is:
OVERLY AEROSOLED

She does not:
SNORE
She is:
NASALLY REPETITIVE

She does not:
GET DRUNK
She becomes:
VERBALLY DYSLEXIC

She does not have:
BIG HOOTERS
Her:
CUPS RUNNETH OVER

She is not:
TOO SKINNY
She is:
SKELETALLY PROMINENT

[The March Hare]

These three teenage girls were roommates. One friday night right after
the semester started they all had all gone out on dates, and by chance all
came home at about the same time.

The first one came in and said with a smug look on her face, "You know
you've been on a good date when you come home with your hair all messed
up."

The second one laughed at her and said, "No, no, that's nothing! You know
you've been on a good date when you come home with your makeup all
smeared."

The third one sat quiet with a blank stare on her face and didn't say a
thing for a few minutes. Then she reached under her skirt, removed her
panties and threw them against the wall, where they stuck with a loud
noise. She said, "Now THAT'S a good date

[The March Hare]

Smelling What You Eat



A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is
also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm
sorry, Sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a
dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from
there." A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty pile and
picks up a greasy fork. he returns to the blind man's table and hands
it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a
deep breath.

"Ah, yes, that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the
kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her
what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.

Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakingly
brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man." "I'm
sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The
owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.
After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great,
I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli." Once again walking
away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around
with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in
he's going to test him.The blind man eats and leaves.

He returns the following week, but this time the owner see's him
coming and runs to the kitchen.

He tells his wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take
it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork
back. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and
waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already
have the fork ready for you." The blind man puts the fork to his nose,
takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey, I didn't know that Mary worked
here?"

[The March Hare]

8.00


There was a Pope who was greatly loved by all of his followers, a man wholed
with gentleness, faith and wisdom. His passing was grieved by the entire
world, Catholic or not.
As the Pope approached the gates of heaven, it was Saint Peter who greeted him
in a firm embrace. "Welcome your holiness, your dedication and unselfishness
in serving your fellow man during your life has earned you great stature in
heaven. You may pass through the gates without delay and are granted free
access to all parts of heaven."
"You are also granted an open door policy and may at your own discretion meet
with any heavenly leader, including the Father without prior appointment."
"Is there anything which your holiness desires?"
"Well, yes," the Pope replied. "I have often pondered some of the mysteries
which have puzzled and confounded theologians through the ages.
Are there perhaps any transcripts which recorded the actual conversations
between God and the prophets of old? I would love to see what was actually
said, with-out the dimming of memories over time."
Saint Peter immediately ushered the Pope to the heavenly library and explained
how to retrieve the various documents. The Pope was thrilled and settled
down to review the history of man's relationship with God.
Two years later a scream of anguish pierced the stacks of the library.
Immediately several of the Saints and Angels came running. There they found
the Pope pointing to a single word on a parchment, repeating over and over,
"There's an 'R', there's an 'R' -- it's celibRate!"

[marmaris98]

BOB

[The March Hare]

7.00


(I can't help myself)


Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in
my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may
miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to
survive by holding a calculator).


Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle
with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we
call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.


Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will
pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm
looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the
other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all
these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."
We will then drink beer.


Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me
soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never
get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.


Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic
groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected
to find exotic items like "Cumin" or "Tofu." For all I know
these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances,
expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene
product" is a euphemism.


Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working I
will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will
just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and
has to put it back together.


Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I
don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen
to a complete stranger I mean, how the hell could he know
where we're going?

[The March Hare]

Subscribe to Clean 10 things men know about women.

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10

[The March Hare]

6.48


Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a
neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by
Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he
could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to
figure out the answer; if after a year, he still had no answer, he would
be killed.

The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to
young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Well, since it was better
than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by
year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the
princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the court jester.
In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a satisfactory
answer.

What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she
would know the answer. The price would be high, since the witch was
famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk
to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept
her price first: The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of
the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur
was horrified: she was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had only one
tooth, smelled like sewage water, often made obscene noises... He had
never run across such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his
friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden.

Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him
that nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the
preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and
the witch answered Arthur's question: What a woman really wants is to be
able to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that
Arthur's life would be spared. And so it went. The neighboring monarch
spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom. What a wedding Gawain
and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish.

Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her
worst manners on display. She ate with her hands, belched and farted, and
made everyone uncomfortable.

The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific
night, entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The most beautiful
woman he'd ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what
had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when she'd been
a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and the
other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would he want
her to be during the day and which during the night?

What a cruel question? Gawain began to think of his predicament:
During the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friend, but at night,
in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer
having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy
many intimate moments?

What would you do?

Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon
hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time,
because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.


What is the moral of this story?

THE MORAL IS THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOUR WOMAN IS PRETTY OR UGLY.
UNDERNEATH IT ALL, SHE'S STILL JUST A WITCH

[The March Hare]

Dating Vs Marriage




When you are dating..... Farting is never an issue.
When you are married ....You make sure there's nothing flammable near
your husband at all times.

When you are dating..... He takes you out to have a good time.
When you are married ....He brings home a 6 pack, and says "What are
you going to drink?"

When you are dating..... He holds your hand in public.
When you are married ....He flicks your ear in public.

When you are dating..... A Single bed for 2 isn't THAT bad.
When you are married ....A King size bed feels like an army cot.

When you are dating..... You are turned on at the sight of him
naked.
When you are married ....You think to yourself "Was he ALWAYS this
hairy?"

When you are dating..... You enjoyed foreplay.
When you are married ....You tell him "If we have sex, will you leave
me alone???"

When you are dating..... He hugs you, when he walks by you for no
reason.
When you are married ....He grabs your boob any chance he gets.

When you are dating..... You picture the two of you together, growing
old together.
When you are married ....You wonder who will die first.

When you are dating..... Just looking at him makes you feel all
"mushy."
When you are married ....When you look at him, you want to claw his
eyes out.

When you are dating..... He knows what the "hamper" is.
When you are married ....The floor will suffice as a dirty clothes
storage area.

When you are dating..... He understands if you "Aren't in the
mood."
When you are married ....He says "It's your job."

When you are dating..... He understands that you have "male"
friends.
When you are married ....He thinks they are all out to steal you
away.

When you are dating..... He likes to "discuss" things.
When you are married ....He develops a "blank" stare.

When you are dating..... He calls you by name.
When you are married ....He calls you "Hey" and refers to you when
speaking to others as "She

[The March Hare]

1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop
2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge
3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding
4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead
5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum?: You CAN Tell the
Difference!
6. If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I
7. If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator
won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II
8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!
9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In
10. Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the
electronics Came In
11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink
12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels!
13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About
to run Out of Toilet Paper!
14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to the
Goodwill
15. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts
16. No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations of
Your Kitchenware
17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel!
18. Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and
Ten" Means
19. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut
20. Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That Don't Fall
under the "Action/Adventure" Category
21. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote
22. "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!": Why Women Laugh
23. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet
24. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed
25. "I Don't Know": Be the First Man to Say It!
26. The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty
27. Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them
28. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime
29. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't
Mean You Can Fix